..don't live for your amusement.
2002-11-20 - 5:51 p.m.

There can't be a defeat if I choose to walk away. It's only rejection if I wait around and let myself be stood up. My pride is my biggest weapon and my own biggest enemy, but right now it's the only thing standing between me slipping into the shadows, unmissed and inconspicuous or left waiting.

I'm at the back of the crowd, and all I can barely see of you is the shine of your hair, and hear the growing buzz of the voices of your public. I won't perform tricks like a monkey or twist myself into endless contortions hoping to be pleasing. I am so not that girl. I won't be less than equal, so I take the only path open to me. And it leads away. To my own adventures.

before - after